What if Somali Pirates were no Longer Tollerated

Somali Pirates ‘Soundly’ Defeated
Beersheba, Israel

When several Israeli citizens were killed when their ship was attacked by Somali pirates last month, many believed it was just a matter of time before the Israelis delivered some form of retribution. It appears that the first response by the Israelis has now been carried out. According to a French navel spokesman, two suspected Somali pirate vessels have been found floating adrift at sea days after an apparent attempt by them to take over an Israeli ship delivering electronic goods to South Africa. Both pirate vessels were discovered disabled and the crews on-board both vessels were found dead from starvation and exposure.

Despite not directly taking responsibility for this high seas drama, an Israeli spokesman for the Knesset commented today, “It is always the desire of the Israeli people to protect themselves from any individuals, and from any corner of the earth that means us harm. That resolve includes attacks at sea”.

WhatIFNews has discovered that an Israeli electronics company from Beersheba, which has been widely rumored to have had close ties to the Israeli Navy, is now marketing a ship defense system that may be responsible for the two wayward pirate ships. Under tremendous security, WhatIFNews was given a demonstration of this system on condition we guaranteed the anonymity of the company and all individuals involved.

Representatives from the Israeli company took our reporter to an underground testing facility to give us a demonstration. The underground room was dominated by a large scale water tank complete with a simulated shoreline and an assortment of remote control model boats. The models ranged from oil tankers all the way down to outboard skiffs. We were assured that all of the models were created to scale. On the larger boats, a series of what looked like small speaker boxes were attached along the railings on the side and rear of each boat.

We watched the demonstrations from a sealed room on the second floor that overlooked the water tank. In each demonstration, one of the larger boats with the speakers would be sent up the center of the water and one of the smaller boats would approach it. Every time the smaller vessel had approached to approximately one meter away from one of the larger boats, the engine on the smaller boats would begin to sputter and eventually would stop running.

After the demonstrations were complete, the General Manager granted our reporter time for a few questions.

WhatIFNews – “Thank you sir for the demonstration of your product. You said earlier that you hoped all ships sailing in these troubled waters would have one of your acoustic systems on-board soon for their protection, yet you are not allowing us to name your product or company name. How are the shippers going to find out about you without advertising or allowing the news media to let the world know you have such a product available?”

GM – “I can assure you that everyone that needs to know about us already does.”

WhatIFNews – “I see. Its not to hard to surmise that your system sends some type of electromagnetic wave outward from the origination ship that disables the electronics in the pursuing boats. Does this wave also incapacitate or harm the people on the pursuing boats?”

GM – “The design of our system is roughly designed as you surmise. It creates pulses of energy similar to a concentrated sound wave. This wave has the effect of destroying all electric and electronic devices within close proximity. We did not create our system with the intent of creating injury to humans. Of course we haven’t had any volunteers to see what the effects may be, and we have no intention of spending anytime with that study even if we did.”

WhatIFNews – “So your device is designed to be used for defensive purposes only.”

GM – “That is its only intended function.”

WhatIFNews – “Has this device been tested to ensure it will bring no harm to marine animals?”

GM – “We designed the system so that the high intensity pulses would ride on top of other benign frequencies that are at sea level. This way no abnormal energy is ever delivered into the sea itself. The range of the pulse is also kept to a minimum. Therefore no sea creatures are at risk.”

WhatIFNews – “It’s easy to see how the pursuing vessel and its inhabitants are neutralized from the attack, but how will its use deter other pirates from just taking the place of the ones lost?”

GM – “Until now there has been very little for the pirates to worry about when attempting to take over a ship. Maybe one out of 100 ships have any armed resistance, and the number of Navy vessels available to interdict them are no more than a drop in a very big bucket. However, our system can be installed surprisingly inexpensively. It will soon be proven to have a 100% success rate for ship to ship deterrence. I don’t think it will take too long for word to get around the African coast, once it becomes widely adopted, that attacking ships will mean sure death.”

WhatIFNews – “You said the device is not designed to be offensive, so won’t the pirates just go home and try again, hoping the next ship that comes by sails without it?”

GM – “Let’s put it this way. If your pirate vessel is disabled and is floating 500 kilometers offshore, your buddies won’t likely be heading out to get you. Our country, and other countries we have talked to, will not be risking their resources on these disabled pirate vessels. Despite that, a few of the disabled vessels will find a way home by getting a lucky break. The surviving few will prove to be a witness to the others on shore that the risks are no longer worth the rewards. With a near zero rate of success against ships that have the system, and facing a high possibility of slowly starving at sea, we expect the rate of these pirate events to diminish rapidly in the days ahead.”

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